Sample college essays and feedback

Included below is a sample essay.

Sample college essays and feedback

OWL Sample Feedback writing assistance The following are actual responses to some of our recent submissions to the Online Writing Lab, although the names have been changed to maintain the anonymity of student writers.

You can expect similarly global-oriented comments and suggestions for developing your own work. Of course, length and type of feedback vary between individual tutors and between essay submissions.

Sample 1 Dear Rachel: I think you touch on some really nice ideas in this paper, which I'll talk about in a minute, but first I want to address one general concern I had about your writing.

sample college essays and feedback

You have a tendency to spend too much time summarizing the plot--this is time when you could be advancing your argument. You don't need to tell your reader what happens in the story; you can assume that he or she already knows.

For example, look at this paragraph: The sentence that begins "Feeling rejected, the creature wanders away The second part of this paragraph is much better in that you're talking about motivations and making arguments.

I think you've got some really interesting ideas in this paper, particularly in your fifth and sixth paragraphs, but you need to expand upon them. For example, you might spend more time talking about Millhauser's rationale--WHY does he think the monster should have been presented as a brutal beast throughout?

What would be lost in such a presentation? Why is it better that Shelley shows the monster in terms of growth and progression?

You introduce this idea in your introduction, arguing that Shelley is deliberately playing with the reader's sympathies, for the monster and for Frankenstein. Could you say more about HOW she does this? What is the effect of the reader's divided sympathies?

Feedback on Student Writing | CRLT

Where does the sympathy lie at the end of the book? Why might Shelley be interested in this? In general, what is the value of making the creature sympathetic?

I hope you found some of the questions I've raised valuable. You've touched on some interesting issues in this paper, and there is definitely plenty of room for you to develop them even further.

If you have any questions about anything I've said, or any further questions, please feel free to write back to me.Examples of Feedback on Student Writing As an undergraduate, my first writing assignment in Jim Faulconer’s philosophy of religion course changed me.

More specifically, it was the feedback . Feedback on Student Writing These links describe ways to construct and react to assignments based on student written work, including creation of questions, strategies for grading, and ways to respond effectively to student writing. Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S.

Department of Education AANAPISI Grant.

Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S. Department of Education AANAPISI Grant. Spring By Sara Cook. 2. College students are assigned a lot of writing. Some disciplines require more writing than others, The purpose of in-text marks and comments is to identify specific examples of the strengths and. Feedback on Student Writing These links describe ways to construct and react to assignments based on student written work, including creation of questions, strategies for grading, and ways to respond effectively to student writing. Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S. Department of Education AANAPISI Grant. Spring By Sara Cook. 2. College students are assigned a lot of writing. Some disciplines require more writing than others, The purpose of in-text marks and comments is to identify specific examples of the strengths and.

Spring By Sara Cook. 2. College students are assigned a lot of writing. Some disciplines require more writing than others, The purpose of in-text marks and comments is to identify specific examples of the strengths and.

Read and learn for free about the following article: Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback If you're seeing this message, it means we're having trouble loading external resources on our website. If you're behind a web filter, please make sure that the domains *initiativeblog.com and *initiativeblog.com are unblocked.

Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S. Department of Education AANAPISI Grant. Spring By Sara Cook. 2. College students are assigned a lot of writing. Some disciplines require more writing than others, The purpose of in-text marks and comments is to identify specific examples of the strengths and.

Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback (article) | Khan Academy

Writing your college application essay is difficult. And the stakes are high. A great essay can help you get accepted to your dream school. A mediocre essay can contribute to rejection.

Feedback on Student Writing | CRLT